Marital Negotiations

I left my first marriage without much in the way of cash resources so it took a few years in a rental condo before I had saved enough to buy a home.  I will never forget the day I first saw the house that was soon going to be mine.  A friend who was also recently divorced called to tell me about a house he had seen.  It wasn't for him but he thought I might like it.  He was right.

I was home with an awful flu but I dragged myself out of bed for an hour to tour the house.  I instantly fell in love.  A few weeks later the place was mine.

The house was a Craftsman style bungalow,  in a great family neighborhood.  The kitchen was recently remodeled and was bright and sunny.  The hardwood floors gleamed!  It had built in bookcases, a fireplace and (best of all) a great front porch.  Did I mention that I fell in love with the place?

I cannot adequately describe the emotions I felt about that house.  Just buying new towels for the bathroom was like bringing home a gift for a lover.  Writing about that house still makes my heart race.

When I got married, I moved into my husband's house.  His was the grander of our homes, so it made sense.  Giving up my bungalow was incredibly difficult, but I was able to sell it to a nice young couple, which helped soothe me.  But I never, ever stopped loving my bungalow.

Fast forward seven years.  My husband Joe is retired and I plan to retire soon.  We don't need a huge home with four bedrooms, 15 acres, and a pond.  The term "downsize" appears often in our conversations.

I recently learned that my bungalow is back on the market.  It is the perfect place to downsize.  At first Joe agreed, but lately he has had a change of heart.  He is just as emotionally attached to his home as I am to mine.  Tonight I agreed to walk away from my bungalow.  But I am really having a hard time with that decision.

 Joe's house is just that - Joe's house.  My house is just that - my house.  Joe's house feels like a responsibility.  My house feels like a gift.

Now what do I do?